Connect with Brittany Bean on Instagram: @iambrittastic

Bean is not new to parenting, but she is a great example on how it is never too late to incorporate balance into your motherhood.

Q: How is motherhood, overall, going for you right now?

Bean: Motherhood is like the wind beneath my wings. I feel like right now, it keeps a lot of things in perspective in the midst of everything that's going on in the world. So as grounded as motherhood keeps me, it's been very challenging lately. But we’re getting through it and learning along the way. It's a growing experience.

Q: What does Balanced Working Mama mean to you and how has Balanced Working Mama impacted your life?

Bean: For me, Balanced Working Mama was like the impetus to a very life changing perspective shift for me, and it came at a time when I really needed it - I had recently gotten married, and we were having a baby. And my once little girls were growing up into big girls. So, when Balanced Working Mama came into my life, it was a time where I was trying to figure everything out because everything was just so new. On top of that, I had been a single mother for 10 years. So it was motherhood in a very different space with a partner. It was like a guiding light during a time where everything was really new and uncertain.

“Now that I'm sharing these responsibilities, and motherhood is something that I can take control of and define for myself, it has helped me get my needs met by my community and share the goals that I have for myself so that I can set bigger goals for me and for my kids.”

Q: What have been some struggles or challenges you've experienced so far in your motherhood journey?

Bean: I think my biggest struggle early on was really defining what motherhood looked like for me. I hadn't thought of prioritizing myself and motherhood at all. I was just trying to make sure that me and my babies were going to be okay. So it was constantly just making sure we'll be alright tomorrow. And then it was ‘hopefully I'll make it to next week’. And I just didn’t have time to think beyond that. I always put the dutiful and the service part of motherhood way at the top, which is definitely a part of being a mother…but it's not the only thing. So really figuring out how motherhood is going to be the best for me and for my kids has been something that I struggle with a little bit.

Q: What some things you've actively worked on, changed or transformed as you've moved forward in your motherhood?

Bean: I have always considered myself a very communicative person. But I realized that I only liked to communicate about specific things. I had a really hard time with communicating about things that I wanted, or I needed.

And being open enough with people around me who care about me and my family was something that I realized I really needed to work on If me and my family were going to thrive. I know it sounds really simple to just say ‘talk to the people around you!’ But really prioritizing and making sure that was something that I tried to do my best or to take seriously opened up a lot of doors for me to improve the relationships within my family and with the people that I have around.

Want to learn how you can became a Balanced Working Mama?

Q: What's the biggest lesson you've learned, or what has stood out to you the most as you've worked to redefine your motherhood journey?

Bean: It’s hard to know what you're capable of when the only thing that you're focused on is surviving. When things started coming together for me in a really good way, I honestly didn't really know how to function. And then things kept on going well, and I really didn't know what to do, I was constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. And that's not really fulfilling it - doing that for so long or not having enough energy or time to look beyond what's happening right now put me in a position where I really wasn’t fulfilled. Like I wasn't looking to get fulfillment for anything, I was just trying to make sure everything was okay. I was just constantly going through the motions of making it, and it took everything out of me to get through the day.

But now that I'm sharing these responsibilities, and motherhood is something that I can take control of and define for myself, it has helped me get my needs met by my community and bring them in on the goals that I have for myself so that I can set bigger goals for me and for my kids. There are things that are happening in my life now that I didn't think that would ever happen. And things that I definitely didn't think would happen before my kids grew up and moved out and started their own adult lives.

Q: Has community played a role in how you navigate motherhood right now? And if so, how?

Bean: Community has been a huge game changer. For me, I think that since I've been a part of the Balanced Working Mama groups and discussions, I've encountered really amazing and inspiring women. They get up in the morning and do extraordinary things at home and at work, and then they deal with the same stuff that I do, just within their families. I think it's just like with anything else - that type of representation and connection was something that I really needed. I became a mother when I was pretty young. Not all my friends were having kids. And the ones that were, they were going through the same struggles and having as hard of a time as I was, so that perspective was almost exactly the same.

But like the community in Balanced Working Mama has so many different types of people in it, that they just… I guess season the food is a good way to put it! They just have a little bit more to add. And that community has really made the difference in the perspectives that I have, or what I think is possible. So it has really helped me evolve. Because that community was something that I was lacking so much a year and two years ago, and even when I first became a mom almost 13 years ago.

Q: What words of encouragement, wisdom or helpful advice would you pass on to another mom who may be struggling right now?

Bean: I think the first thing, is that yes, it is a struggle. And I think that's important to tell people because a lot of times when we talk about motherhood, it's difficult to say the struggle parts or the ‘I don't like this’ part because I think we're taught to speak extremely positively about all things motherhood. So, I think first I would acknowledge that you're struggling and also say I've struggled too.

And we don't have to struggle all the time! We can set things up. There are some things that we can control to minimize the amount of struggle, but I think that's the first important step. And then the second thing that I would say is that everyone around you is constantly growing and changing. And so you should too. Your kids are going to start off as like little screaming potatoes and then they turn into these foreground people with opinions and ideas and goals. And that's something that they're doing on their own in spite of everything that's happening around them, and I think that it's important to make sure that you're growing and changing too. And you should never compromise your best self by stopping the process of growth.

Hi there! I’m Dr. Amber Thornton.

I’m a Clinical Psychologist, Motherhood Wellness Consultant, wife, and mama to 2 amazing little ones.

My mission is simple: to help working mothers balance work, motherhood, and wellness. I want to completely change the narrative of what is possible for working mothers.

Learn more about how we can work together!