Learning to Take Time for Myself.

New York City mama, Sheina Sanchez sits down with Balanced Working Mama to tell us how the Empower Wellness Program helped her juggle her career as a college counselor, and being a mama to a senior in High School, a pre-teen and a toddler all at once!

Q: How is motherhood, overall, going for you right now?

Sanchez: I feel like we're already transitioning. My older daughter is going to be a senior in September. This summer we're going to be looking at colleges. She's going to be 17 so that's a milestone in her life. And then my middle one is going to be ten, going into fifth grade so she's transitioning as well…soon to be a preteen. And then I'm going to have a whole toddler, a two-year-old! So, we are all going through changes.

Q: What does Balanced Working Mama mean to you and how has Balanced Working Mama impacted your life?

Sanchez: Balanced Working mama has impacted my life so much. I don’t even have the right words for what it means to me. It has allowed me to zoom in and zoom out at different parts of my life. Evaluate relationships - what works, what doesn't work. Even with my kids and having two daughters. What may have worked on my older daughter doesn't work for my younger daughter, you have two different people and two different needs. I had one when I was 17 compared to having my second one when I was 24. So even I was different. 

I'm happy to say that I've been keeping up with my doctor's appointments. I already had a second physical, compared to a few years ago when I wouldn't go to the hospital or to the doctor unless something actually went wrong. And now I realized that I don't want to go there again. Let me just go for my regular checkup and my regular routine. I'm going to take care of myself.

I can't do everything. I can't be everything to everyone at the same moment. And it's okay! I don't have to feel like I have to do everything. It doesn't make me less of a good mom if I'm asking for help.

Q: What have been some struggles or challenges you've experienced so far in your motherhood journey?

Sanchez: Still asking for help. Taking off that Superwoman cape. I can't do everything. I can't be everything to everyone at the same moment. And it's okay! I don't have to feel like I have to do everything. It doesn't make me less of a good mom if I'm asking for help, or if I'm reaching out or even if I'm delegating a task that I know I could do. As long as it gets done, I don't have to be that person doing it.

Sheina Sanchez and her family.

Q: What are some things you've actively worked on, changed or transformed as you've moved forward in your motherhood?

Sanchez: I started therapy six weeks ago because during the retreat, I realized I needed something consistent to help me feel good all the time. So, I made my appointment and I'm like ‘I'm going to go. I'm gonna give this to myself.’ I needed a space where I could just be Sheina. No one's mom, no one's coworker, not a partner, not a friend. Just me. So I've been actively going to therapy and I feel a lot better. My anxiety is way down compared to when it was a nine and now it’s like at a two

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Q: What's the biggest lesson you've learned, or what has stood out to you the most as you've worked to redefine your motherhood journey?

Sanchez: People don't know what you need unless you ask. They're not mind readers. That was something that I was struggling with for a long time - just asking for what I need. Instead of being like, ‘I think he needs a diaper change’ now I’m like ‘Can you please change his diaper?’ It's that simple. Changing a few words and being very direct with what I need instead of just throwing out clues. No. Just say ‘I need help.’

Q: Has community played a role in how you navigate motherhood right now? And if so, how?

Sanchez: Yes, absolutely. It's crazy how many of us suffer alone. We often see all the good things on Instagram or Facebook or the highlights and it seems like everyone is winning! But in reality, it's like we're all suffering in some way or another. Even I was struggling with putting our toddler to bed or getting dinner done on time. There are so many of us going through so many different things and we don't speak about it enough. So being in a community with other women that are sharing their same struggle from relationships and parenthood is definitely uplifting because you feel like you're not alone.

Q: What words of encouragement, wisdom or helpful advice would you pass on to another mom who may be struggling right now?

Sanchez: If you're a new Mama, do it. If you're a more seasoned Mama, do it. If you're a mama of one, or even five babies, do it. You deserve to have some space for yourself sometimes where you can just be you and have other women pour into you the same way you pour into your children.

Hi there! I’m Dr. Amber Thornton.

I’m a Clinical Psychologist, Motherhood Wellness Consultant, wife, and mama to 2 amazing little ones.

My mission is simple: to help working mothers balance work, motherhood, and wellness. I want to completely change the narrative of what is possible for working mothers.

Learn more about how we can work together!